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Accepting and Regretting Formal Invitations
Ever wondered why some invitations—usually the ultra fancy wedding ones—don't include RSVP cards? Believe it or not, these convenient cards weren't always included (and for formal occasions, still aren't) because etiquette dictates that the invitee send his or her response on personal stationery.
Formal invitations should be accepted or regretted in the third person. They should always be handwritten with blue or black ink and should be addressed to the host. The old etiquette regime dictates you respond on formal, personal stationery. Consider who you are responding to and use your best judgment.
The basic formal acceptance is as follows:
accept with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Dr. and Mrs. Christopher Walter
to dinner
on Saturday, the twentieth of August
at half past seven o'clock
For a wedding:
accept with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. William Joyner
for Saturday, the fifteenth of June
at half past five o'clock
Including the date and time in your response is a polite way to let your host/hostess know you have the correct date and time of their event.
When you're forced to send your regrets, you're not required to explain why you can't attend, but we think a truthful and brief explanation is considerate.
The basic formal regret is as follows:
regret that
due to a previous engagement
they are unable to accept
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. William Joyner
For Saturday, the twentieth of August
If replying to multiple parties, list all their names on separate lines. This format works for almost any occasion, from dinner parties to black-tie weddings.
