Invitation Dos & Don'ts

Parties don't begin at the appointed time people arrive at your door. The best parties pick up steam weeks before with a fabulous invitation. At the very core, invitations help guide your invitees on where to go and what to wear. But even more than that, an invitation is the one piece of mail your soon-to-be guests can look forward to opening. Something they can post on their refrigerator and smile at every morning as they reach for the milk for their coffee. In a world where people don't often stop to smell the roses, invitations are a well appointed, fragrant bouquet.

Timing is Everything

Giving: For a small-to-medium party, send out invitations so they arrive two to three weeks before the event. For a larger party or a party that is scheduled during a busy holiday season, send your invitation four weeks in advance. If you are concerned about schedules, it is also acceptable to call and ask close friends to save the date. Or, to extend this courtesy to everyone on your list, custom printed save the date cards are a wonderful way to build excitement for the event while securing the date on everyone's calendar.

Receiving: Reply to invitations within three to five days of receipt if at all possible. If you are unable to make it, a brief reason is not necessary but is courteous. Reply in the requested manner (e-mail, phone, mail). Click here for tips on how to accept a formal invitation.

The Who...

Giving: Clearly address your invitations to those invited to attend so you avoid any unwanted guests or awkward questions.

Receiving: Don't bring uninvited guests, or even ask your host if you can bring an uninvited guest. This includes children. Once you accept an invitation, show up. Period. If an illness or emergency arises, call the host, apologize, and send flowers or a box of fine chocolates.

...And the What, When, Where & Why...

Giving: Pick an invitation in formality and style that sets the tone for your event. Make sure you include all the essentials: reason for the party, who the guest of honor is, the date, the time, the location, the host's name, and any RSVP information. Include dress instructions if the formality of your event is not 100% obvious.

Think twice before you include "regrets only" on the invitation. Only do it if you need the roughest of rough headcount, since there will be people who are notoriously naughty about responding.

...And Who Could Forget the HOW

There is something about receiving a "real" (i.e., paper) invitation that signals the party you are being invited to should not be missed. And it's a MUST for formal events like large dinner parties, cocktail parties, birthday parties, or open houses. But e-mail or phone is okay for last minute, ultra-informal dinner parties and happy hours.